相信每個人都曾有過說謊的經驗，說謊未必代表道德上的絕對瑕疵，有時候，說出真話反而可能造成更深的傷害，因此，「善意的謊言」在生活中始終有它得以立足的位置。

在夫妻相處中，我深刻體會過「信任」的堅不可摧。在我的婚姻劇本裡，信任佔據著無法撼動的位置，然而，也正因如此，最終留下了一段不好收拾的後果。

我太太對我的信任幾乎找不到任何縫隙，而正是這樣的全然信任，使我的事業發展逐步擴張，卻在無意間侵蝕了她的生活品質。

「夫妻本是同林鳥，大難來時各自飛」這句古話，完全套不進我與妻子的人生。我們的人生版本，更接近「有福同享，有難同當」。

如果有人為我示範了什麼叫承擔，最好的典範便是我太太。她幾乎毫無怨言的承接生命給予的所有考驗，包括最終結束她生命的疫苗後遺症。

在她離開之後，我曾與自己進行過一段深度的對話。我反覆問自己：這一道考題，究竟要帶給我哪一層次的提升？我深知，她的犧牲不可能只是終點，而必然蘊藏著極其重要的指引。

 

當工作逐漸成為我生活的全部，持續精進成了在工作中爭取信任的資糧。回顧這條職志軌跡，我發現反覆考驗我的，始終是「信任層級如何深化」的議題。

角色扮演，是人生不可避免的狀態。有些角色與生俱來，有些角色則需親手爭取；但無論是哪一種角色，背後都藏著信任的考題。

子女的角色好做嗎？有些人做得無可挑剔，但在血緣連結的兩端，年長的一方失去信任的比例並不低；年幼的一方即便也曾失去信任，多半仍會被另一方的愛補齊缺口。

成為父母，從來不是偶然。然而，當機運來臨時，我們往往尚未準備好；即使心理上有所準備，人格的成熟度也未必能即時銜接。

在我所見所聞之中，信任考驗最為劇烈的，往往發生在兄弟姊妹之間。我在家教的演繹中逐漸看見癥結：問題可能出在父母的成熟度，也可能出在父母的身教。

即使父母未能把角色扮演好，仍有子女能在人格修養上突破考驗；而過不了關的，往往不是決裂，便是長年不睦。

 

信任，其實存在兩個面向：能力與操守。企業用人，多半優先看重能力，操守往往被暫時隱藏；而交友，則必須高度重視操守，因為摧毀長久友誼的，幾乎都是某一方的道德瑕疵。

夫妻關係亦在這兩個面向之間反覆被檢視。不是刻意檢視，而是相處本身就在檢視；一旦遭遇困境，更成為能力與操守的雙重盤點。

你是否發現，這兩個面向都必須經由事件來驗證，而且驗證的是「怎麼做」，而不是「怎麼說」。

於是，時間成了最誠實的量尺。時間會讓虛假現形，也會讓能力與操守接受最長期的檢驗。

信任，是豐富生命的基石。它不只是人際關係的橋樑，更是照顧身體不可或缺的養成。長期被病痛折磨的人，往往是在與身體互動的關係中，缺乏了信任的基礎。

信任既是一種意念，也是一種修養。身體被設定為「有條件的信任」大腦意識，這與人與人之間的互動如出一轍；當信任被徹底毀滅，身體終將棄主人而去。

 

那麼，在什麼情況下，我們才真正有機會對身體展現信任？不是信任身體可以承受折磨，而是信任身體能長久維持「回饋信任」的狀態。

這段話或許抽象，但唯有與身體進行過深度互動的人，才能真正理解。關鍵在於：當我們的誠意到位，與身體之間的主從關係會自然對調，不是我們任用身體，而是身體在使用我們。

換句話說，身體才是老闆，而我們必須接受它的評量。身體不在乎我們的學歷，它只看我們的態度；我們是否真正體恤它，它又怎會不知？

我們其實都帶著慈悲的本性來到世間，只要修好謙卑，慈悲自然浮現；而懂得謙卑的人，終會願意與身體對調主從關係，只要有機緣理解身體的立場。

人生不過百年，容不得太多蹉跎。如何善待身體，是養生中極其重要的一門學分。我的觀察與領悟，幾乎都落在人們的學習態度上；而眼前的生態，卻多半在匆忙之中，荒廢了這門關鍵課程。

回到那些無法停止精進的角色與身分，不只是老師或教練，也不只是企業主或父母，把角色做好，就是信任的修行。

 

（信任不是給予，是得到。）

 

Trust or Neglect

I believe everyone has lied at some point in life. Lying does not necessarily imply an absolute moral flaw; at times, telling the truth may cause even greater harm. For this reason, “benevolent lies” have always had a place in everyday life.

Within marriage, I have experienced firsthand the unshakeable power of trust. In the script of my marriage, trust occupied a position that could not be challenged. Yet it was precisely this that eventually led to consequences that were difficult to contain.

My wife’s trust in me was almost without a single crack. And it was this complete trust that allowed my career to expand steadily, while unintentionally eroding her quality of life.

The old saying, “Husband and wife are like birds of the same forest—when disaster strikes, they fly apart,” never applied to our lives. Our version was far closer to “sharing blessings together, and facing hardship side by side.”

If anyone ever showed me what true responsibility looks like, the finest example was my wife. She accepted every trial life placed before her with almost no complaint—including the vaccine-related complications that ultimately ended her life.

After she passed, I entered into a period of deep dialogue with myself. I repeatedly asked: what level of growth was this lesson meant to bring me to? I knew with certainty that her sacrifice could not be an ending; it had to contain a profoundly important guidance.

As work gradually became the entirety of my life, continuous improvement turned into the currency through which I earned trust in my profession. Looking back on this vocational path, I realized that the recurring test was always the same: how deeply trust could be cultivated.

Role-playing is an unavoidable condition of life. Some roles are given at birth; others must be earned by hand. Yet no matter the role, hidden within it is always a test of trust.

Is the role of a child easy to fulfill? Some perform it flawlessly. Yet at both ends of a blood bond, the loss of trust is not uncommon—especially on the older side. Even when the younger side loses trust, the gap is often mended by the love of the other.

Becoming a parent is never accidental. Yet when the moment arrives, we are often unprepared. Even if we are mentally ready, our level of character maturity may not be able to keep pace.

From what I have seen and heard, the most intense trials of trust often occur among siblings. Through observing family dynamics, I have gradually identified the root causes: sometimes they lie in the parents’ level of maturity, sometimes in their role modeling.

Even when parents fail to perform their roles well, some children still manage to break through these trials in character development. Those who do not often end up either estranged or locked in long-term discord.

Trust, in fact, has two dimensions: competence and integrity. In hiring, organizations tend to prioritize competence, while integrity is often temporarily concealed. In friendship, however, integrity must take precedence, because what destroys long-standing friendships is almost always a moral failure on one side.

Marital relationships are also repeatedly tested along these two dimensions—not deliberately, but naturally through daily interaction. When adversity arises, it becomes a double reckoning of both competence and integrity.

You may notice that both dimensions must be verified through events, and what is examined is not what one says, but what one does.

Thus, time becomes the most honest measure. Time exposes falsehood and subjects competence and integrity to the longest and most rigorous examination.

Trust is the cornerstone of a rich life. It is not only the bridge of human relationships, but also an indispensable foundation for caring for the body. Those who suffer long-term illness often lack a foundation of trust in their relationship with their own bodies.

Trust is both a state of mind and a form of cultivation. The body is designed to place “conditional trust” in the mind—much like interactions between people. When trust is completely destroyed, the body will ultimately abandon its owner.

So under what circumstances do we truly have a chance to demonstrate trust in the body? Not by trusting that the body can endure endless abuse, but by trusting that it can sustain a long-term state of reciprocal trust.

This may sound abstract, but only those who have engaged in deep interaction with their bodies can truly understand it. The key lies here: when our sincerity is genuine, the master–servant relationship between us and the body naturally reverses. It is no longer us employing the body; it is the body using us.

In other words, the body is the boss, and we must accept its evaluation. The body does not care about our academic credentials; it only observes our attitude. If we truly care for it, how could it not know?

We all arrive in this world with an inherent capacity for compassion. When humility is properly cultivated, compassion naturally emerges. Those who understand humility will eventually be willing to reverse the hierarchy between themselves and their bodies—once they have the opportunity to understand the body’s perspective.

Life rarely exceeds a hundred years; there is little room for waste. Learning how to treat the body well is a critically important course in the study of health. My observations and realizations almost always point to people’s learning attitudes. Yet in the haste of modern life, this essential course is often neglected.

Returning to the roles and identities that demand ceaseless refinement—whether as teachers or coaches, business owners or parents—doing one’s role well is, in itself, a practice of trust.